Mini Rant : That Back Hand Slap In High School

I just had finished a good meal consisting of a deep fried chicken carcass, curry mee and stir fried baby kailan courtesy of the local night market and my mum; the stir fried kailan that is. Now as I was chowing on that carcass, that tasted as dry as I remembered it was 7 years ago, I had a flash back. Of how I was bitch slap by my hostel block disciplinary teacher during that one fateful night. Now that I think about it deeply, did I even deserved it? Should I have blocked the slap and slapped him instead? I would given my current state of mind and experience though.




Now the back story. I sort of only remembered it vaguely but I think the prime reason was that our batch was causing a few disciplinary problems. Nothing generic, just run of the mill smoking, dating, skipping class here and there, skipping prep times and all the taboo shit you should not have done in the hostel life but, hey, that's what you get man. And so, we were gathered in the surau both male and female students to be lectured on and be thought a lesson. It was a long talk but, I remembered I had to stand up and come to the front and got frickin back hand slap by that teacher/warden! Oh boy if he was holding it back I wouldnt have resented it as much, but, dammit he pulled all the way!



Why was I slapped you ask? Maybe because I was the batch leader, sort of. Went through some elections and selections and I was selected. Now, I was supposed to lead this group of chemically unstable, rebellious teenagers, which I was a part of too, so it seems. Hell I can't do that. If they want to smoke, they gonna smoke. If they want to fall in love and be loved, they are going to fall in love and be loved. If they want to skip class and skip prep they gonna! What was I to do? I can give a bit word of advice, that is all, but heck I was as miserable, as confused, as chemically unstable and as rebellious as them all was.




Now, he going and gathered all the students there from our batch there. ALL I tell ya. Even all the good ones too. Na'ah he aint selective. The problem was, its this them trouble makers! not us good ones. Aw hell the reasoning was you're from the same batch and so all of y'all gonna get it. Hell no! Some of us aint friends with some of them trouble makers. If they were our friends, who were kind to all and helpful, I would gladly take the slap for them but no! If I deserved that slap I won't be complaining but I went by the rules and got slapped too.




Sorry, went a bit ghetto there but anyways. I forgive him for slapping me. But I aint never going to forget. EVER!

One step too late

"Always a step too late..." He sigh deeply in his shower. 

He took a good deep look into the mirror. He gazed into his own eyes. He could recall all the girls that he was attracted too. Recall them as he may, but he might not remember their names. Its like his brain doesn't remember or more like, he programmed himself to delete the things that he doesn't want to remember. Not that his life matters anymore to any of his acquaintances. 

As the water trickle down his hair, he can't help but think all his missteps that he took in his love life. He could have had a shot with a lot of people but he would always be a step too late or he'd be too dumb to realize that the girl were giving him signals. He took the soap in his hands and gave himself a good thorough wash through. He grabbed his shaver and took a pause. He remembers a picture he saw in instagram of an old friend who grew a cool beard and had long hair akin to Professor Snape from Harry Potter. He was jealous that he didn't win the biological lottery of having good physical genes but he didn't want a bearded face. He would resemble too much the people in whom he once had trusted in. So he kept his face clean shaven.

Its amusing, he thought, how you think about a lot of stuff during showers. He kept thinking of this one girl he went out with twice. He wanted to think of it as a date but he knew that he wasn't being anything near boyfriend material but had always been a gentlemen. He had lunch with her but little did she know he was suffering from a bad case of diarrhea. He also didn't had resources to treat her too lunch that time too. He was in a bad condition but he thought he might have had a chance with her. The best he could do was drive her around for the day. 

The second time he was doing a bit better. He met her up north and was able to drive her around again and hang around near the beach. It was a good day. He almost drove her back to her house but it was 365 km away and she didn't want to trouble him anymore than she had already have it seems.

That was the end of it. two meet ups. two talking sessions. He had tried texting her every other day but she rarely replied. So he thinks it was just a fling and he dropped it. He still follows her on a social media site, she doesn't follow him back (which he guessed was a sign), but he constantly tries to forget her now. She was near perfect to him except that she kept reminding him of his mum and he didn't want to have another relationship with his mum. Oh boy, one was enough.

This was what then that lead to he recalling every girl he had tried so far. He didn't had any luck. He was always a step too late. The girl wasn't interested in him (or boys currently) and the girl already had a guy (mostly) was always a hurdle he seems to always find.

He snapped back to reality. Cleaned himself up. Shakes his hair up. Exited the shower. Life just moves on.

He would always be a step too late. so far.