The free mind

The tame mind...
Its good... its controlled... its within control...
it listens to orders... it follows authority... it guarantees safety...
its loved... its appreciated by others too...

The free mind...
it's wild... it's free of order... it controls itself...
it follows its on heart... it is authority... it always faces risk...
its not accepted nor appreciated... its hard to be with...

Why can't my mind be free? why must it be tamed? Why do even my parents want my mind to be tamed...
Are we all control freak? are we all afraid to lose control? Are we afraid to be out of control?

Show me how...

Breathe and smile...

Love life...

All is well...

Easier said...

doing is a whole another thing...

I am still the same...

The same state from where i entered this hole...

seems like I can never get out...

Show me how...

to love myself...

Show me how...

to be disciplined again...

Forget about telling

Its time for showing...

My mom said...

dress up well... take care of your image... physical appearance is important...

love yourself... have self discipline... eat well... take care of your body...

and some other bla bla bla...

they were my mom's advices...

My teacher said...

Love yourself... and some other bla bla bla

they were advices too...

Other people said stuffs too...

But what I am...

A damn stubborn and ignorant guy...

Who lost his reason...

Who seems no one tried to understand or even understood him...

Which seems to be every side is giving, imploring, ordering, demanding and pressuring...

but none tried to come inside my hole and lift me up or even give a lending hand...

"You give me 10% I give you 10%" what my teacher said...

Whenever I tried... people weren't satisfied...

Whenever I did... people find it wasn't enough...

When I live for myself... by my own grounds... With my own principles and beliefs...

People say I'm wrong... 

I don't mean to drag anyone into my state...

I wished... wished... wished...

Prayed... pray... praying...

Until I gave up...

No help was coming...

None... meh... How'd i get so low...

My emotions are negative now...

its depressing... its lonesome...

I tried to find another company... to fill this void...

however i tried... seems like no one was willing...

perhaps maybe i didnt even wanted...

no one seemed to care...

people think they are always right...

just because i'm wrong, that doesn't mean your right anyway...

I plead the world...

show me how...

to love myself...

show me how to gain control again...

Give me a reason to live and fight...

Find me a motivation to move forward...

Give me the power to push and struggle...

The way I see life seems to be unfit for you to share

Find me a person whom is willing to spend their time for me and with me

To stop thinking about themselves to focus on just me

Talk to me in iirespective of your views but for just to hear and listen mine

I have given the world my life, my patience, my ear...

I know the world is not fair... I know i don't deserve anything...

I acknowledge the unfairness I understand but how can i appreciate it...

but we...

we all deserve fairness... we all deserve deserving...

we are in need of each other...

I am in need of somebody...

In need of a mentor...

In need of a company...

In need of a selfless person...

In need of a guide...

In need of an opportunity...

In need of a strength, motivation and reason...

Show me... 

Show me how...

Show me the road to my happiness...

Walk by me... guide me... by my own self temperament... self trait and personality...

Help... Help... Help...

not for instruction... but for a hand on the back....

H....E...L...P...

Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

(Dengan Apologi kepada ZoC, 08618-6048)

Sayu terpisah

Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah

Berhembus angin rindu

Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu

Hujan lebat mencurah kini

Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah

Tak lagi ku dengari

Kau pergi

Pergi

Sepi tanpa kata

Terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau ku lupa

Apa pun kata mereka

Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

Hujan lebat mencurah kini

Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah

Tak lagi ku dengari

Kau pergi

Pergi

Hujan lebat mencurah kini

Bagaikan tiada henti

Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah

Tak lagi ku dengari

Kau pergi

Masakan lagu ini tidak akan membawa erti kepada kita semua. Setiap ayat yang lagu ini bawakan memberi scebis kenagan silam kepada mereka yang memberi makna kepada hidup kita. Selamanya, kau kan menjadi kenangan terindah. Kehangatan dan ketanangan yang kau bawakan sentiasa ku damba malah sudah lama tidak ku rasakan. Biarkanlah kenangan berbunga di ranting usia. Semoga pohon kehidupan yang telah berlalu kekal indah dengan bunga-bunga yang berwarna-warni malah menyejukkan mata. Hikayat yang berlalu biarpun sejarah, masih suatu cerita yang akan sentiasa ku ingati namun tiada kepastian dapat ku beri bahawa sejarah akan berulang. Hujan bagaikan rahmat, mengingatkan kenangan dahulu. Wangian kasihmu masih yang teristimewa. Sudah lama tidak kudengari lagu indah yang suatu masa dahulu mengisi kalbu. Bagaimana harus ku katakan, sangat ku hargai semua yang berlaku antara kita. Terima kasih saudari, janganlah kita terlupa antara kita, jika jalan kita bertemu lagi malah selari, kita lihat apa yang terjadi. Seribu maaf kemohon atas kesilapanku biarpun dulu, kini dan selamanya. Sejuta terima kasih ku beri bagi setiap detik dan saat kita luangkan bersama biarpun dulu kini dan selamanya. Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia. Mungkin bila nanti kita imbas kembali bersama...

ps, its awkward to write in malay ha3 sorry for the baku-ness of my language. (: I like this song a lot 

Aizat - Pergi