Saturday, October 29, 2011

Turbulence getting rough...

It was not an easy step
Nor was it an easy thing to do
nor you might even face
but today
It went sky high

Maybe because of
what I did not do
may be because of
who i just am
Maybe because of
my overly sensitive side

what was i to do
I had no aptitude for it
to satisfy your expectations nor demands
I am just being who I am to my best
you busy yourself with maintaining the utmost excellent standard
you busy yourself claiming that it is for our best
you busy yourself chasing us for imploring
you busy yourself caring for us thinking your right and what you've been through is the right one

Have you been considering all of these?
I see you as stakeholders in your position as somebody, but do you see others too?
Do you bother putting yourself in my place
do you bother seeing yourself in my perspective
do you?

This is my far cry
of not the truth but a turbulent soul
You will I believe
claim I am 
close minded
for you have a greater understanding and know more and even experienced more
but what i say...
I now feel...
may be a far cry for attention
a cry baby
of a weak soul
being a pessimist
But all i have for now
is but a turbulent soul...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Beating Fast

It beats
No surprise there
but when it thumps
thats something

The beating heart
Could be a sign
of biological turbulence
of emotional uprising
of far sighted moments
of a cry for peace
of a drive for passion
of a despair passing
it could be anything
that suits your past experiences... your motivations... your deep desires... your beliefs...

it could be right and it could be wrong
it could be a sign from above or a scream from deep under
it could be the heart speaking instead of the brain reasoning
it could be... anything we want it to be...

My heart beats fast
day in and day out
My heart beats slow and deep
in the moment of being alone
My heart jumps
at the sight of beauty
My heart stops
at the sight of fear
My heart slumps and faints away
at the advance of troubles that I do not wish to face

My heart is beating fast
perhaps of nothing
perhaps of everything
of Red Bull....

Monday, October 17, 2011

Empty Despair

I used to have
something to go back too
something to return too
something to keep me alive and being
something that makes it worth waking up another day
something that makes it worth the walk and steps that i take
something that makes me filled
somethings that keep the emptiness full
something that kept me smiling
something to cheer me up

Empty despair... Melancholic shell... Lost soul... Empty vessel... Meaning lost...
How sad it is to be
How pathetic and useless I sound
How ungrateful I am to say this
How dare I say this for where I am
but How true it is until the feeling is so evident
How true it is if you see from my world of a walking tool
that my steps are drags and not stride anymore
The very breath I take are mere forgotten

Owh, hello there again Mr Problems
I see you brought some friends
sir Elizabeth Edward English
mr Theodore Oswald Katrini Essay
mrs Beatrice Marx Sulliver I. Assignment
dr Matrix Patrick Type II
mr Thompson Oswald Katrini Presentation
sir Punia Arthur Intrix Presentation
mr Mikail SAGA
and not to mention your other henchmen...

I wasn't scared of any of you till now
Nor am i sacred now
Not because I can finish you
but because I have succumbed to the moment

Something... Somehow... Somewhere... Somewhat... Somewhy... Somewho... Somewhen... Somebody...
I was strong...
I was great...
but no more...
I am only but a disgrace...
A pathetic low life...
With not a single significance anymore...
Empty despair... Unending Limbo of the Heart...
Give me the light back... Give me the companion back...
Give... me... me... back...
Oo empty despair...
Give me... a sense of want back...
Give me... a sense of need again...
Give me... the spirit to fight...
Give me... companion that understand and walks... not run nor implore
But you would never give it back do you...
Would I even want it myself...
Would I be accepted even...
Empty despair... bright darkness... illuminating sadness
Why do you make me feel at home...

Maybe darkness is my home

I'm a slow walker...

I'm a slow walker
a slow thinker too
I never walk back
but i take u-turns and a quick stop 
while around me are running

I'm a slow walker
I run my race, but walk on others
Others laugh at me and support me at their race
but I'm alone in my race
How do I embrace

I'm a slow walker
I don't want to run
I want to enjoy the moment, remember the past and fight for the future
But the runners all around me won't support me or understand me
They keep running and running and running pass me by

I'm a slow walker
I'm not a running man
I walk around with others
I try not to impose others for I don't like it
I like walking with others for it makes me sane and alive

I'm a slow walker
People motivate me with their runs
People implore with their wins
I motivate people with their own race
I implore people with their own hearts

I'm a slow walker
Forever and always
I'm a slow walker
For the world is too fast 
and you live only once
I'm a slow walker

I learned from stories
The goal in life is to be happy
People ask me what do i want to be in life
I want to be happy
They told me I don't get the question
I tell them they don't get life

I'm a slow walker
I do not miss too much of my moments
For I am alive in them
I never lose my breath
Thats what I try anyway
I got caught up with your races too
Which makes me forget the seconds that passes away

I'm a slow walker
Care to join me?

Lets walk (: together

Friday, October 14, 2011

Is this a phase of life

Is this a phase of life...
Or is it just is...

All i know...
Its my belief....
welcome back Salman


Wah~ lame x update blog ngeh3 n_n